Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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