I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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