U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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