cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..