I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
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Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
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Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.