someone get that fucking seahorse.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
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Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?