I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
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he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
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I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.