I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
