These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
