no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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