if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
