His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Hippo gnu deer
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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