HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
