I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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