so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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