Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
