you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
