Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  y did u give ur computer a hand job?

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  (734): y did u give ur computer a hand job? http://tfl.nu/nk4j
  Replies (4) Good night (682) Bad night (866)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"

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  (212): Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers" http://tfl.nu/w9dn
  Replies (8) Good night (3756) Bad night (739)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.

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  (978): My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober. http://tfl.nu/yr07
  Replies (13) Good night (4571) Bad night (879)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund

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  (480): oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund http://tfl.nu/xo4q
  Replies (6) Good night (2895) Bad night (814)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it

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  (516): i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it http://tfl.nu/hj6c
  Replies (13) Good night (2948) Bad night (1070)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care

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  (503): just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care http://tfl.nu/jaq9
  Replies (7) Good night (2475) Bad night (765)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping

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  (845): Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping http://tfl.nu/4jdo
  Replies (12) Good night (739) Bad night (2470)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.

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  (307): He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment. http://tfl.nu/tvxk
  Replies (1) Good night (1194) Bad night (2434)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.

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  (816): This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out. http://tfl.nu/wupp
  Replies (8) Good night (2353) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.

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  (614): lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name. http://tfl.nu/tsk6
  Replies (6) Good night (2247) Bad night (732)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."

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  (585): He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry." http://tfl.nu/vnva
  Replies (25) Good night (1749) Bad night (554)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.

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  (404): Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on. http://tfl.nu/451u
  Replies (7) Good night (710) Bad night (822)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.

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  (770): He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles. http://tfl.nu/ru6c
  Replies (5) Good night (396) Bad night (713)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw

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  (847): Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw http://tfl.nu/0d0p
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (353)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics

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  (774): Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics http://tfl.nu/x2gy
  Replies (0) Good night (565) Bad night (329)

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