we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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