even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.