Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
