I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize