After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.