do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
