just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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