The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
