if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
