I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
