Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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