I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
