I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
do herpes really smell.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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