____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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