It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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