Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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