pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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