Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
