My first STD was from a foam party
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize