..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im having a threesome with these popsicles
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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