I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
