I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
