I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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