so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize