Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
