i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
