i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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