i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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