Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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