I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
