What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
