I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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