the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
