At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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