I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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