I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
