Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize