Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
