I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
