Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
