I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
