How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
