mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize