God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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