I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
