There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize