every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
