another moral hangover. fuck.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
