He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
